Hello everyone!

I arrived back in Colorado Friday after four full days at Our Lady of Guadalupe Seminary. It was a wonderful experience. I am quite in love with OLGS.

On Monday, I arrived and had ample time to explore the seminary. Fr. Portzer, the Vocations Director, gave me an extensive tour of the building. The grounds are absolutely beautiful. It has a very monastic atmosphere. It is surrounded by beautiful scenery:















Denton, the town surrounding the water tower, is the closest town. More of a small village, actually.

On Tuesday and Wednesday, we had a silent retreat. We were able to attend Mass, exposition of the Blessed Sacrament, Vespers, and Compline with the Seminarians.

On Thursday, we went to a relatively nearby Carmelite Convent and attended a Pontifical High Mass offered by Bishop Bruskewitz. Sister Francis Theresa made her vows to the order. Quite an exciting event. Thursday was also the Feast of Corpus Christi, and we were able to attend Solemn Vespers and Compline. They are both very beautiful. During these few days, we had classes with priests from the seminary such as Frs. Buckley, Goodwin, Portzer, and Bisig. Fr. Bisig's class on the history of the FSSP is most intriguing. I will post more about it if I get the chance and make sure that I have the facts correct.

Finally, I have received word that I have been accepted to OLGS for this Fall. After I receive my official notification in the mail, I will write back to them and tell them for sure that I am coming to the seminary. I am so happy. I cannot thank you all enough not only for your financial support, but also for your prayers. They have been of the utmost importance, and I pray for you all daily. I ask that you continue praying for me, as it will not be an easy road. I will keep you update throughout the summer. I hope to be more active on this blog.

Also, there will be a picture of the men on the retreat in the FSSP North American Newsletter. If you do not already receive it, you can sign up for it HERE.

Again, thank you so much, and God bless!!

Labels: AquinaSavio

I wish to thank Sr. Eleanor for leaving information about this in the Shoutbox:

We will have an information day on Sunday June 8th 2008, for single, Catholic women
interested in learning more about our way of life.

Preferred age range 22-40 years.

For more details on our community, visit our main website here.

For more about the information day, click here.

Labels: Blogging

As I write this post, I am nearly done packing my bags for tomorrow morning. At 8:45 my ride will take me to catch my plane to Kentucky! (Thanks to the wonderful Saint Paul seminarian who is spending his hard-earned gas money on my cause.) I shall be making a retreat with the Passionist Nuns in Whitesville, KY, for the next two weeks, living the life of a contemplative inside their cloister. Deo gratias! The visit is much looked-forward-to and I am more relieved than anything that the day is finally here.

I humbly beg your continued prayers as I spend these weeks with the Passionists! I will certainly be keeping you all in mine, especially those of you who are with the Nashville Dominicans right now!

Labels: Quantitative Metathesis

Last Sunday I went to Fatima to meet my vocational director in person. We talked for about two hours - or should I say he talked. I just answered a few questions, and spoke very little as I was trying to absorb all that he said and all that was going on. To make a long story short, he suggested I start writing down significant things that come to me during my prayers, to write down what my ideal day as a religious would be like, and to also to come to Fatima every once in a while for a day or two for mini-retreats.

What struck me most though was a piece of advice that he gave me: "don't try to chose the community/order. If you're making a list of communities that you want to visit so you can decide in the end which one you'll chose, then you're going at it the wrong way. You're not the one choosing here - it's God." So for the meantime I'm going to ignore the list of congregation/communities I'm interested in. As I had mentioned that I felt a certain inclination towards Ignatian spirituality and the Jesuit's 4th vow but couldn't identify with the Company as it currently is, he suggested an alternative: the Disciples of the Hearts of Jesus and Mary (http://www.dcjm.org/). He knows them very well (even though he is diocesan priest) and is going to arrange for me to visit one of their houses in Spain. God willing, next month I'll be on my way to Madrid to spend a week with the commuity there. I'll let you know how that went.

Pax Christi,
Mark of the Vineyard

Labels: Mark of the Vineyard

Hello my fellow discerners!

Like Roberta, I too will be attending the retreat with the Dominican Sisters of St. Ceclia tomorrow!...I am excited, nervous, and yet by the Grace of God I am filled with joy to be spending these coming days with the sisters and embracing their way of life. I ask that you continue to hold Roberta and I in your prayers as we make this retreat.

May God guide, hold and bless all of you!

In Christ,
Kate

Labels: Nun2Be

Hello all! 

Labels: Roberta

Hello, discerning friends!

I will be leaving next Saturday for a two-week visit with the Passionist Nuns of Saint Joseph's Monastery in Whitesville, KY. In preparation, tomorrow I will start praying a novena to Saint Joseph, and if you're so inclined, you're welcome to join me in prayer.

I've so appreciated your prayers in recent weeks -- not only did I finish writing my master's thesis, but I passed with honors, and I will graduate this Saturday. The Lord is so good! I am excited for what is next, and although I don't know where I will end up at the end of the summer, I entrust myself to the Lord's loving providence. The Passionists are one of a few communities I hope to visit over the next few months, and I am definitely leaving my beloved Minnesota behind because of my health. It may be that I must get a job elsewhere and discern a while longer (please, God, not too long!).

Sancte Ioseph, ora pro nobis!

Labels: Quantitative Metathesis

J.M. + J.T.

On 10 May 2008, a day before the great feast of Pentecost, six deacons were ordained into the presbyterite for the Archdiocese of Miami by Archbishop John C. Favalora.

Thanks to one of the Carmelite Sisters from my school, who pulled some strings to clear my schedule, I was able to attend. A priest from my parish gave me, three other guys my age - who made up Father's discernment group - and a soon-to-be seminarian a ride to St. Mary's Cathedral. On the way there, he explained to us the parts of the Mass and the Rite of Ordination, adding interesting facts and comments.

We arrived about an hour and a half early to the cathedral, but better safe than sorry: the pews were just about completely full about half an hour before the Mass began. We got a pretty good view, being able to see the entire sanctuary, though not even close to the amazing view the Carmelite Sisters from my school had from their specially reserved section on the left side of the cathedral. Sister later told me that she could see the now Father Vigoa cry as he rose from the floor after the Litany of the Saints, and the Archbishop anoint his hands with the holy chrism.

Sister and I concurred that no words could fully describe the beauty and wonder of the Mass, so all I can say is: go for yourself and see!

However, what I can say is this:

Seeing these men, who entered the Mass as deacons, kneel down before the Archbishop, receive his hands upon their head, and get up as priests, truly fanned the flame inside my heart. We go in and out of Mass the same, in the sense that we remain either lay people or priests or religious, but these men left the Eucharist new men, the new man: JESUS CHRIST.

After the Mass, as Father had told us, the six "baby priests" - as I've heard them being called many times - gave their first blessings to the faithful who lined up before them. Now, Father had told us in the car that we would probably not have the time to receive a blessing from them - especially not from Father Vigoa, who comes from our parish, but he was only half right. His mother, who was also in attendance, saved us a spot in line for Father Malzacher, who is assigned to a parish near by. Father Vigoa's line was to the back of the room.

Kneeling down before this newly ordained presbyter was another amazing experience for me. There wasn't enough time for me to truly take in what was happening, but I knelt down, placed my arms wherever they went, not wanting to waste too much time, and closed my eyes. I heard Father pray that "the blessing of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit descend upon [me] and remain with [me] forever." (Or, at least that's what I think I remember him saying.) I got up, a little disappointed that I couldn't just stay kneeling to meditate upon what just happened, but left giving Father a shake and a "Congratulations!"

Before leaving for lunch, we said hello to a few people, and I got to see a seminarian who I had met on that Vocations Awareness Weekend at St. John's back in March. Apparently, Father's mother used to give him haircuts when he was younger, and she wanted her son to get to know him. When I heard her say he is a seminarian named Erik, I could only smile: Divine Providence struck again!

We left for lunch - with Father's mother tagging along in her car - and enjoyed three huge pizzas between the seven of us. Father told his discernment group (which I sort of unofficially became a part of by just being there with them, I guess) that, though he was being reassigned to another parish quite a distance away, he did not want the discernment group to end. First off, he highly recommended - if not, ordered - that we find ourselves a personal spiritual director. He then told us that, since he is friends with newly ordained Father Malzacher, and since Father is assigned to a nearby parish, he would speak to him and ask if he could help continue the group. One of the guys mentioned that "our" Father Vigoa mentioned that he wished to help too.

The providential thing is: I had been thinking about asking Father Malzacher to be my spiritual director. After all, I received the Eucharist from him, one of his first blessings, and he is assigned to a parish very close by. Despite Sister wishing there was a way that Father Vigoa were closer so that he could be my spiritual director, I really hope it will work out with Father Malzacher. If not, I'll try to learn more about the newly ordained priest assigned to my parish. (But, I don't know; there's something about Father Malzacher...)

Please pray for these new presbyters! They said it themselves: they want to be holy priests!

Labels: Sal Terrae

Hi everyone!

Well, I just got back from a mini-retreat with the Daughters of St. Paul in Alexandria, VA. A friend of mine and I spent Friday and Saturday with them. My friend didn't come until later on Friday and then had to leave on Saturday morning. So, Saturday afternoon I was really able to go into "silence and prayer mode." Sr. Jamie was expecting more people to be able to come to the retreat, but unfortunately, many college graduations and finals are going on, so it was just the two of us....well, then just me later! :-D
I really feel drawn to the Pauline charism... I always feel like my self when I'm around them. In June and July, I'm going back to the Motherhouse in Boston. I'm so happy.
Since I hadn't posted in a while I thought I would give an update. So, basically I'm in the same spot....I think it's the Daughters of St. Paul...I just have to finish college first...(*sigh* Lord, grant me perseverance and wisdom!)

Prayers!!!
St. Faustina

Labels: St. Faustina

Well, time for an update. Since my introduction nearly two months ago, a bit has happened. As I said at the time, I was involved with a Jesuit-run volunteer group. As the training went on, I found myself feeling more and more out of place amongst the other members. It's not that I haven't had fun with them, or haven't learned anything; let's just say that we don't seem to be practicing the same religion. And for me to be in the midst of them for a whole year while abroad just didn't seem right. But all the while I tried to convince myself that this was something that I was going to do, no matter what.

And perhaps there lay the problem - it was something that I wanted to do. I was willing to put off my vocational discernment just so that I could induldge myself. Because that's what it ended up being - and indulgence; after all, there's plenty need of works of mercy where I live, that I needn't go abroad. But the Lord has His ways of making His will known. The more I tried to convince myself that I wanted to go, the more the vocational question nagged away at my heart. "How can you put such an important thing off for so long? How can you tell God 'Yes, I will follow you, only give me just a moment'?"

So while on a 3-day pilgrimage to Fatima I thought the whole thing through; a friend's comment - "what glorifies God the most: your going or your vocation?" - helped to go the rest of the way. So now I am ready to finally formally start my discernment. I have even begun to broaden my horizons. I am no longer limiting myself to the Jesuits; I've begun to consider the Norbertines, the Institute of Christ the King, and a few other more traditionally inclined orders. I'm going to try and visit them towards the end of the summer, if all goes well. Also, I will start my discernment with a priest in Fatima sometime mid-May.

Well, I guess that's it for now. You are all in my prayers.

Pax Christi,
Mark of the Vineyard

EDIT: I forgot to mention: on the 3-day pilgrimage I had a talk with a Jesuit scholastic. If I had any doubts as to whether or not I was just making my vocation up, he helped do dispell some of the fears. As he was telling me his story, it was as if he were reading my mind, as if he knew all the questions and struggels I had gone through initially.

Labels: Mark of the Vineyard

wow.. my goodness, its been way to long! I can't believe how long! I am very sorry about that. Its been so crazy lately. Now that school is coming to an end (21 days! :]) things have gotten even more insane. But by the grace of God I'll make it to June. And as well by the grace of God i have gotten closer in my vocation. I know that earlier i have said that i really feel called to the servants of the Lord and the Virgin of Matara, but then there was a gap for a while when i was so confused and frustrated. I felt so empty. it was really no fun, i didn't feel close to Him. you see the first friday of the month i go to the convent and eat dinner with the servants then have recreation with them. i wasn't able to go for the last few months. but last friday i was thankfully able to go. the MOMENT i walked in the convent i had such an incredible sense of home and peace. and i truly felt like i never wanted to leave. like this is HOME!!! and there was a difference when i left. like i was missing a peice of me for months, then found it, and then i had to give it back. and ever since all i want is to go back to have that peace home feeling. since I've visited there i feel closer to God. so that leaves me asking.. were those months away from 'home' as i felt really empty until i went back??? i know im young but i still wonder at what God has made my future on earth like. as one of my friends said to me "i can picture myself as a married woman then i can picture myself as a nun, and the nun picture just seems so less blury..". i do kinda feel like that right now. but again, im young and God is in charge, I am not.

when i was there they invited me to a youth festival in new york, memorial day weekend. so i am going.. and im very excited. they said i will truly get to see how they evangelize. im uber excited. because i will get another chance to see if i feel comfortable there. its all so exciting.

thats pretty much it.. my apolgies again. God bless you all.. you are in my prayers.

Ultimately, we want to do and be what God wants us to do or be. This is because we know that His will for our lives (since He is all-good, all-loving, all-knowing, etc.) entails the best possible everything for not just us, but the whole world.

I'm down with that. That's the easy part.

The hard part is, of course, discerning. That's why were all here on this 'blog. My question right now is, what ought a discerner pay attention to? I mean, besides "everything." Is there some sort of importance ranking we might employ? It seems to me that

• desires
• dreams
• likes and dislikes
• talents
• family situations

are all significant, but perhaps ought to be subordinate to

• convictions
• prayer/spirituality
• long-term obligations
• health

[Of course, the question of morality (vice and virtue) goes without saying. God doesn't will sin.]

I'd like to be able to subordinate all of the above things to the will of God. If He says "jump," I think we're supposed to ask "how high?"

But I'm torn. If He should ask me to give up, say, singing Renaissance liturgical music for the rest of my life, I'd like to be able to jump on board that plan. And I am able to entertain that situation serenely...for a while...until I hear a piece of polyphony again. But as soon as I hear it or sing it, I'm back at the drawing board in terms of that "holy indifference" state that St. Ignatius talks about. I start making bargains with God and telling him that I can only survive such deprivation if I get to sing Gregorian chant on a regular basis instead.

Is that sort of preference something a discerner should be heeding, or should she be weeding it out? Does it say something about what God wants, or is it just selfish? I guess liturgical music is a bad example, because it is a preference which borders on a theological conviction...but still, there are many, many holy and healthy religious communities who don't have plainsong or polyphony in their liturgies. Neither of the two I'm very seriously looking at do. It's a stumbling block which I'll gladly vault over if the Lord asks me to...but I don't know how to know.

The same goes with use of gifts and talents. Sure, I'd love to be able to give up playing violin and translating Latin, if the Lord asks me to do so. But can I? Perhaps I should consider it an obligation to use these talents to their utmost. Or are they "disposable?"

And what if one consideration contradicts another one? Let me combine my two examples: Most communities with gorgeous liturgical music are cloistered contemplatives. Most communities who actively contribute their time and talent to the "betterment of humanity," etc., etc., are decidedly lacking in the Medieval and Renaissance music category. On a very practical level, it seems as if I need to choose between the two. To say nothing of prayer and spirituality and rhythm of life!

What's a discerner to do?

Labels: Quantitative Metathesis