Introductions: Kayla

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Hi everyone~ my name is Kayla and I'm what you would call your typical teenager. I'm 18 yrs old, just recently graduated from high school, and heading off to college next year. I play sports (namely softball), I'm involved with band (go trumpets!), and I love to go camping and fishing.

I have a huge (and boy do I mean huge!) introduction that kind of describes my life and spiritual journey up until this point in time, but I feel that it is a little long to post on this blog itself. If you're interested, I've posted a link to my own blog that will let you read it.

http://kayla23mount.blogspot.com/

Basically, I've been through quite the journey in the past four years of my life... going from atheism to wannabe Mormon to Catholic (thanks be to God!) and now to discerning a possible vocation to the religious life.

I have been Catholic now for… just under three months. Three beautiful, beautiful months. Sure seems like such a short time, really. I still struggle spiritually, almost more than I did before I was Catholic. But I am filled with this deep, penetrating desire for holiness. I want to serve the Lord in all that I do, I want to give myself completely to Him, to love Him with my full being, without any reserve. I want to be His and only His.

And I think it is this desire that has me exploring a possible vocation to the religious life. I actually find it slightly amusing, because I began thinking about religious life before I actually became Catholic. It might have been around the same time that Elizabeth (a close friend of mind who is now a Poor Clare in California) and I were becoming close friends and she was discussing her call to be a nun. In fact, that was the times I had begun thinking about it, because she had kept making little comments that implied she thought I could be called to the religious life. And I remember quite distinctly, reading in… I think it must be Matthew, Jesus talking about celibacy and saying “to those who can accept it, accept it”. That has always stuck in my head. Could I accept being celibate all of my life? I think I could.

Then of course there have been the little clues, the little calls that draw me closer to the idea of religious life… My youth minister is under the impression that I will be a nun. She has said it to me on various occasions. I was talking with one of my non-denominational friends and I mentioned that who knows, maybe I would someday be a nun… she kind of stopped for a moment, slightly puzzled, then said “Yeah, you know, I could see that.” Stuff like that…

I’m not going to lie… the thought of religious life completely scares the crud out of me. I really mean it. I am petrified of it. I don’t know why, really… I mean, I love it so much. I have the deepest respect for priests, seminarians, religious… I am completely attracted to a way of life that is centered upon Christ. Yet it scares me to death.

At the moment, I’m just taking things day by day. Trying to sort between the different voices that are coming at me from all angles. I’m looking at different religious communities- I really like the Dominicans. I actually sent an e-mail to one order: Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia. I really don’t know what’ll happen with that. Even if I am called to the religious life, I don’t think I would be called to enter for a bit yet. But then again, that just might be my own desires getting mixed in with what God wants of me. I mean, I’m all set and ready to go off to college in August to play softball for a D1 program at Mount St. Mary’s University. But I think that going there is a part of my call and that the Catholic present will help me discern even further. I’ve already contacted the priest in charge of Campus Ministry and I should be getting a good spiritual director when I arrive on campus.

So, that's where I'm at right now. Any prayers would be appreciated and I really look forward to getting to know this community.

In Christ,

Kayla

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