College Life and Further Discernment

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Hello all~ I know haven't written or posted much of anything since my introduction. My apologies. I have been coming around and reading other posts, however, and many of these have been very helpful to me.

Well, I have entered the 'college age', as it were, settling into my second week of school as a freshman. As would be expected, I've been experiencing what most first year students experience- difficulty transitioning (although that is wearing off now), excitement at the new experiences and opportunities, and a little bit of homesickness. For the most part, however, things have been going well.

As far as discernment goes... I feel like I'm stuck, moving in no direction whatsoever. I'm overcome with this feeling of I don't know what I want to do with my life, in fact, I don't want to do anything with my life. I honestly have no desire to think about my future anymore. I don't want to go out and get a job. I don't want to get married. I don't want to become a religious sister. I don't want to do anything to that sort.

So what do I want?

That question is so more easily asked than answered. I want to serve God faithfully, no matter what I am doing. I want to help others and make a difference in their lives. I want to grow closer to Christ. I don't really want anything to do with this society that we live in, though. It's a weird sensation. I don't know what to make of it.

I just don't know anymore (I guess I never really did). I'm away from everyone who ever used to be a mentor to me. Now I am here alone, trying to work out what exactly God's will is for me and my life. No direction. No guidance. Just me and Jesus. Perhaps this is a good thing.

In Christ,

Kayla

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