Continuing a trend with an update on QM

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Dominus surrexit! Surrexit Dominus vere! Alleluia!

A very blessed Easter to all of you, my dear discerning friends. I've been lying low in the past months, not least because I have been studying in Rome and busy with my Master's Thesis. I will keep this update brief and post again next week.

Like LandOLakesJesuit and Deo Juvante, I too have been dealing with uncertainty. As sure as I am that God is calling me to the religious life, I have yet to find my home in a particular community, and as I near the end of my final semester in the Master's program here at St. Thomas, worry is beginning to pluck away at the trust which I must continue to have in the Lord. It is so easy to begin to doubt, and I've been spending much of my energy in prayer and discernment on giving everything into the Lord's hands and really, truly trusting that He will give me the grace and guidance to carry out His Will in my life, even if I must do it blindfolded.

Tomorrow I leave to visit the Religious Sisters of Mercy of Alma, MI. Truthfully, I never would have taken a second look at this order; as wonderful as they are, I have never felt attracted to their life or their community. However, a number of people whom I highly respect (and who know me well) are adamant that I may have a vocation here, and my spiritual director has encouraged me to go see for myself whether they are a fit. Please pray for me as I am with them for the next four days!

Because of my upcoming graduation and my continued uncertainity, I have begun praying about whether to apply for jobs and remain in the world for a while longer, to further discern and prepare for religious life. I'm sure you can imagine the surrender which this is requiring of my heart, which only wants to fly into my Beloved's embrace. But as I have prayed over the last month about it, I have realized that if there is anything in this world worth waiting for, it is successfully following this vocation. If the Lord has more work to do in my heart before He calls me out of this desert, I will gladly wait until He deems me ready.

Till next week!
God bless and Mary keep,


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