Tuesday, May 06, 2008
wow.. my goodness, its been way to long! I can't believe how long! I am very sorry about that. Its been so crazy lately. Now that school is coming to an end (21 days! :]) things have gotten even more insane. But by the grace of God I'll make it to June. And as well by the grace of God i have gotten closer in my vocation. I know that earlier i have said that i really feel called to the servants of the Lord and the Virgin of Matara, but then there was a gap for a while when i was so confused and frustrated. I felt so empty. it was really no fun, i didn't feel close to Him. you see the first friday of the month i go to the convent and eat dinner with the servants then have recreation with them. i wasn't able to go for the last few months. but last friday i was thankfully able to go. the MOMENT i walked in the convent i had such an incredible sense of home and peace. and i truly felt like i never wanted to leave. like this is HOME!!! and there was a difference when i left. like i was missing a peice of me for months, then found it, and then i had to give it back. and ever since all i want is to go back to have that peace home feeling. since I've visited there i feel closer to God. so that leaves me asking.. were those months away from 'home' as i felt really empty until i went back??? i know im young but i still wonder at what God has made my future on earth like. as one of my friends said to me "i can picture myself as a married woman then i can picture myself as a nun, and the nun picture just seems so less blury..". i do kinda feel like that right now. but again, im young and God is in charge, I am not.
when i was there they invited me to a youth festival in new york, memorial day weekend. so i am going.. and im very excited. they said i will truly get to see how they evangelize. im uber excited. because i will get another chance to see if i feel comfortable there. its all so exciting.
thats pretty much it.. my apolgies again. God bless you all.. you are in my prayers.