Tuesday, July 22, 2008
An acquaintance of mine, who happens to know about my vocational discernment, is a psychologist. All through my process she has constantly been asking me questions about how I've been doing. To paraphrase her, she is "trying to figure out what I'm about", because she can make no sense of it. She has described my vocation from everything since "honeymoon stage of conversion" to escapism. When those theories failed, she said that I was trying to get to "happiness the hard way", and that "the hardest way is not necessarily the best way". I tried to explain to her that if I had to give up things on this path, that I'd do so out of love, because that is what this is all about: a call to a greater love - with God and others. Her latest attempt to make me question my vocation (?) was a few days ago, when I told her about my experience with the Disciples of the Hearts of Jesus and Mary. She said that I was stunned by the newness of the whole experience and that once amongst them I'd realize that things were not so "wonderful", that I wasn't looking at my vocation from all possible angles (I forgot to mention, but her specialty is guidance counseling).
Perhaps I'm over simplifying things, but I believe there is only one angle I should be looking at my vocation from: does my following a religious vocation help to glorify God? That, I believe, is the fundamental question. All others should only be asked after that. If the answer is Yes, then what must I do, how can I use my God-given talents (and what discover what they are if I haven't already), etc; if No, then how else might I better serve God than consecrating my entire life to Him?
I don't understand how a person can be so relentless to be calling into question your every decision regarding such a matter. Then again, when that person doesn't believe it puts things in another light.
And so the assaults continue...